Reviewed and revised for today, November 8, 2025.
Developing a path of healing on all levels of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical development is a process of understanding creative will (free will) as it relates to learning and practicing self care, well enough, to choose plans based on feelings and needs that will create experiences leading to joy and safety and the magic of creativity, moment by moment. This writing is an attempt to share my insights learned from my life experiences both educational and personal, sharing what I have learned from the mentors who guide me. My mentors include my family and ancestors, as well as gifted authors, educators and individuals I've been blessed to have crossed my path. Below are a few suggestions that I have been learning and teaching over many years on how one might engage is choosing a self care plan that supports the reduction of the fear and anxiety and depression that we each faced with as human beings. How do I increase my ability to understand and create a pathway that leads to a deeper wisdom of how to choose self compassion and joy over fear and the anger and relentless looping of anxiety and depression?
Below are some ways that I would like to share regarding the understanding and practice of the principles of using the "Five Step Self Time Out" tools in ways that may give you opportunity for deeper insights into your reflection practices and patterns of living and making daily choices in your life moment by moment.
Part One: Begin Where Your Heart Is: By reflecting on what you need to be doing for yourself right now. What do you feel in your heart of hearts, what do you need to take care of yourself now? What is your gut or intuition telling you that you know you need to be doing for yourself, but you aren’t? Make a list of what comes up for you. Your list could be s simple as getting back to a daily exercise routine to more complicated needs such as setting a boundary for yourself with a friend or coworker regarding your personal safety.
Part Two: Create a List of What Brings You Joy: What positive experiences have you created in your life that you know provide you safety and calm? What self care tools do you need, what have you practiced to support yourself in transitioning from anxiety and fear and depression to calm, to getting back on track with feeling safe in your heart and body and mind? Reflecting on your feelings and needs, writing down what you have done to support yourself by asking yourself what plans have worked for you to take care of feelings and needs are the keys that will guide and support you on your spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical developmental path. Healing and development is a life long journey. It's a gift to yourself, your family and your community. It is your personal journey. Erik Erickson and his writing on stages of human development which we have posted on our web site can be a helpful tool to grasp the principles of life long learning and development. There are many others. https://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html
Part Three: Insight Tools: At selftimeout.org we believe the "Five Step Self Time Out" tools support a reflective process of intentional mental, emotional, spiritual and physical development through the awareness and understanding of our free will or creative will...to choose our own path of development. Through reflection I can choose to intentionally become more aware of my feelings and needs by understanding my inner discomforts and internal contradictions stored in my body. When I am able to identify, label and process my feelings and needs, I am choosing to practice self care with intentional, gentle, tender, love. I can choose to notice and interrupt my inner contradictions and the discomforts I am feeling in my body. I can choose to stop worrying, or blaming or shaming myself and others. The goal is to notice and interrupt the dual thinking, the discomfort of contradictions, and replace the discomfort with the practice of gently affirming myself with positive, kind, affirming thoughts and actions. When I practice affirming myself, I am building healthy internal boundaries while creating a conscious pathway through and with my free will to build my creative life joyfully and compassionately.
Part Fo ur:Creative Will and The management of choice. The balance of mind and heart and the free will to choose. When we practice self care tools over a period of time the process of managing the emotional self (our free will) will open up an awareness of the inner contradictions, i.e. the energy around feelings of irritation, anger, fear, hate, etc., and all of the negative "stuff" that keeps us stuck and leads us to impulsive reactions, decisions and behaviors. The practice of the "Five Step Self Time Out" tools naturally includes the process of noticing, interrupting and replacing the inner contradictions created by negative self talk. We can choose to notice these behaviors towards ourselves and others. The more we become conscious of our behaviors and responses to them, the more pathways to health on all levels we will show themselves.
As I choose to notice, interrupt, and replace the discomfort I am feeling in my body with a plan based on choices of healthy gentle care of myself, I create a deeper calm, safe, and joyful place within. As I choose to create a deeper calm, safe, joyful place within, I am reducing the dual thinking of contradictions, while increasing a congruent consistency and management of my free will, my creative will, my deep awareness of taking personal responsibility, ie good care of myself, emerges. As I move closer to my true creative self, I move ever more closer to connecting to the wholeness and gifts of the "Creative Will of the Universe." I have come to believe, through years of work and practice that these are the foundational steps to healthy self inner awareness . You might think of these ideas in terms of Refection and Meditation, which are the principle foundations of understanding and connection to the awareness of my free will. to choose my path at any given moment. Tapping into these insights has the possibility of connection and beginning to take care me to my spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs in gentle and tender ways that reduce fear and anxiety.
"Some things are subject to the free will of man, such as justice, equity, tyranny and injustice, in other words, good and evil actions; it is evident and clear that these actions are, for the most part, left to the will of man. But there are certain things to which man is forced and compelled, such as sleep, death, sickness, decline of power, injuries and misfortunes; these are not subject to the will of man, and he is not responsible for them, for he is compelled to endure them. But in the choice of good and bad actions he is free, and he commits them according to his own will."
From the Baha'i Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p 248
